Chapter 4: The Notebook of Lies
The sentence on the page stared back at me.
“Daniel is easier to control when he feels guilty.””
For a moment, I forgot how to breathe.
The bedroom felt smaller.
The walls felt closer.
Behind me, Emma was standing silently with her stuffed rabbit pressed against her chest, watching my face change.
Vanessa took one step forward.
“Give me that.””
I held the notebook tighter.
“No.””
Her expression shifted.
Not because she was angry.
Because she was afraid.
I had never seen Vanessa afraid before.
“Daniel, you don’t understand what that is.””
“Then explain.””
She opened her mouth.
Nothing came out.
I flipped through more pages.
Every entry had a date.
Every entry had details.
Not about normal parenting.
Not about discipline.
Observations.
Calculations.
“April 12,” I read aloud.
“Emma cried after you called. Told her she couldn’t tell you because it would make you worry.””
Vanessa crossed her arms.
“You’re taking things out of context.””
I looked at her.
“Out of context?””
“Yes.””
“Your daughter crying because you scared her is out of context?””
Vanessa’s face hardened.
“You always want to be the hero.””
The words hit me strangely.
Because that was exactly how she had always made me feel.
Like caring too much was a weakness.
Like wanting to protect Emma meant I didn’t understand Vanessa.
I looked down at the notebook again.
There were pages about me.
Not many.
But enough.
“Daniel works late. Remind him how much pressure he is under.””
“Daniel feels responsible for family problems.””
“Daniel responds better when he thinks he failed.””
My hands shook.
“What is this?””
Vanessa stepped closer.
“It’s nothing.””
“It’s a record.””
“It was for therapy.””
I looked up.
“Therapy?””
“Yes.””
“For who?””
She hesitated.
That hesitation answered everything.
“Vanessa.””
She looked away.
“It was for Emma.””
Emma suddenly spoke.
“No.””
We both turned.
She was crying.
“It wasn’t.””
Vanessa’s eyes narrowed.
“Emma.””
My daughter held the rabbit tighter.
“You wrote those things about Daddy.””
I crouched down beside her.
“How do you know?””
“Because I saw it.””
“When?””
“When you were gone last month.””
A cold feeling spread through my chest.
“Emma, what happened last month?””
She looked at Vanessa.
Vanessa immediately interrupted.
“She’s confused.””
“Stop saying that.””
My voice came out louder than I expected.
The room went silent.
I looked at my wife.
“For once, let her speak.””
Emma wiped her eyes.
“Mommy told me I had to write what I did wrong every day.””
I stared.
“She made you write?””
Emma nodded.
“In a notebook.””
I looked at the notebook in my hand.
The realization made me sick.
“Where is your notebook?””
Emma pointed toward her desk.
I walked over.
Inside the bottom drawer was another notebook.
Pink cover.
Covered with stickers.
A child’s notebook.
I opened it.
The first pages were drawings.
A family.
A house.
A sun.
Then the writing started.
“I talked too much at dinner.””
“I forgot to put my shoes away.””
“I asked Daddy when he was coming home.””
My stomach turned.
I kept reading.
The handwriting became shakier.
“I made Mommy angry.””
“I’m trying to be better.””
“I don’t want Daddy to be upset.””
I closed the notebook.
I couldn’t read anymore.
Vanessa’s voice softened.
“Daniel, you don’t know what it’s like to handle her alone.””
I looked at her.
“You’re right.””
She seemed relieved.
Then I continued.
“But I know what it’s like to be a child who needs someone.””
Her face changed.
I picked up my phone.
“What are you doing?””
“I’m calling someone.””
“Who?””
“Someone who can help.””
Vanessa stepped forward.
“You’re not taking my daughter away.””
I froze.
Because that was the first time she said it.
Not “our daughter.””
“My daughter.””
Emma grabbed my hand.
Vanessa noticed.
And something dark crossed her face.
“You’re turning her against me.””
I stared at her.
“No.””
I looked at Emma.
“You were already scared of her.””
The silence afterward was unbearable.
Then Vanessa’s phone rang.
She looked at the screen.
And all the color disappeared from her face.
I noticed.
“Who is it?””
She didn’t answer.
The phone kept vibrating.
I stepped closer.
“Vanessa.””
She slowly turned the screen toward herself.
I couldn’t see the name.
But I saw the message preview.
One sentence.
May you like
And it made my blood run cold.
“Did he find the basement?””
