Chapter 3
That night, Ethan slept on the floor beside Lily's bed.
I found him there at eleven.
He had dragged his blanket and pillow into her room and curled up next to her bed like a guard dog.
I crouched beside him.
“You okay?”
He nodded too quickly.
“Couldn’t sleep.”
“Bad dreams?”
“No.”
Then he whispered, “If I go to Aunt Melissa's, can Lily come too?”
My chest hurt.
“I don't think that's the plan.”
He stared at the carpet.
“She gets scared when there's thunder.”
“So do you.”
“I know.”
I sat beside him.
“Ethan, did your mom tell you anything else about going away?”
He hesitated.
That hesitation scared me.
“What?”
“She told me not to make Lily sad.”
“How would you make Lily sad?”
“She said I shouldn't tell her I was leaving until Saturday.”
I clenched my jaw.
“And?”
“She said if Lily cried, it would be my fault.”
I had to look away.
There are moments when anger is so strong it becomes strangely quiet.
That was one of them.
“She was wrong to say that.”
“But maybe Lily would cry.”
“Of course she'd cry. She loves you.”
“So it would be because of me.”
“No.”
I turned him toward me.
“It would be because someone made a decision that hurt both of you. That isn't your fault.”
He nodded, but I could tell he didn't fully believe me.
I tucked the blanket around him.
“Try to sleep.”
“Jason?”
“Yeah?”
“If Mom sends me away, will you still come see me?”
I swallowed.
“Yes.”
“You promise?”
“I promise.”
He closed his eyes.
I sat there for another ten minutes.
Then I went downstairs.
Sarah was sitting at the kitchen island with her laptop open.
She looked up when I walked in.
“We need to stop fighting in front of them.”
I pulled out the chair across from her.
“Agreed.”
She seemed surprised by how calm I sounded.
“Good.”
“So let's talk.”
She closed the laptop.
“There's nothing left to discuss.”
“Then why is Ethan asking me if I'll still visit him after you send him away?”
Sarah rubbed her forehead.
“Jason, please.”
“No. I need to know when this started.”
“I told you.”
“No. You told me you're tired. That's not enough.”
Her jaw tightened.
“I don't owe you an interrogation.”
“We're married.”
“Yes.”
“Are we?”
She stared at me.
“What does that mean?”
“It means you've planned to move your son out without telling me. You told him to hide it. You told him not to tell his sister. You've been excluding him from family outings. And now you're suddenly very interested in reminding me that I have no legal rights.”
Sarah looked down.
“Did you talk to a lawyer?”
Her eyes flicked up.
There it was.
“Yes,” I said slowly. “You did.”
“I had questions.”
“About what?”
“About my options.”
“What options?”
She stood.
“This is ridiculous.”
I stood too.
“Are you planning to leave me?”
She stopped.
For the first time that night, Sarah looked afraid.
Not angry.
Afraid.
“Why would you ask that?”
“Because none of this makes sense unless there's something you're not telling me.”
“I’m not leaving you.”
“Then who told you I had no legal rights to Ethan?”
“My sister.”
“Melissa isn't a lawyer.”
“She talked to someone.”
“Why?”
Sarah grabbed her laptop.
“I'm going to bed.”
I stepped aside.
I wasn't going to block her.
But as she passed, I said one thing.
“I'm calling Melissa.”
She stopped.
“You don't need to.”
“I do.”
“Jason.”
“If she's about to take responsibility for an eight-year-old for six months, I think we should talk.”
Sarah spun around.
“Leave her out of this.”
“You brought her into it.”
“She is helping me.”
“With what?”
Sarah's eyes filled with something I couldn't read.
Then she said, “You always choose him.”
I stared at her.
“What?”
“You always choose Ethan.”
“Over who?”
“Over me.”
I almost laughed from disbelief.
“He is a child.”
“There you go again.”
“He needs adults to choose him.”
“And what about me?”
“You’re my wife. You're thirty-four years old. If you need something from me, you tell me. You don't take it out on an eight-year-old.”
Her face went cold.
“You have no idea what it's like.”
“What what's like?”
She didn't answer.
She went upstairs and locked our bedroom door.
I slept on the couch.
At 6:15 the next morning, I called my boss and told him I wouldn't be coming in.
Then I called Melissa.
She answered on the fourth ring.
“Hello?”
“It's Jason.”
Silence.
Then, “I figured you'd call.”
That wasn't a good sign.
“So you know.”
“Yes.”
“Why did you agree to this?”
Melissa sighed.
“Because Sarah said she was overwhelmed.”
“For six months?”
“She told me maybe longer.”
My blood ran cold.
“Longer?”
Another silence.
“Jason, maybe you need to talk to Sarah.”
“I've tried.”
“Then try harder.”
“Melissa, did she tell you I knew?”
“No.”
“Did she tell you Ethan didn't want to go?”
“I thought he did.”
“He doesn't.”
Melissa cursed under her breath.
“What exactly did she tell you?”
“That he was struggling. That he was unhappy there. That you were focused on Lily and that Ethan felt like an outsider.”
I sat upright.
“She said what?”
“That you and Lily were becoming a little unit and Ethan was getting pushed aside.”
I almost couldn't speak.
Everything was backwards.
Completely backwards.
“Melissa, yesterday Sarah took Lily for pizza and left Ethan alone with instant noodles.”
“What?”
“She told him she wanted time with just Lily.”
“That isn't what she told me.”
“I know.”
Melissa went quiet.
Then she said, “There’s something else.”
My fingers tightened around the phone.
“What?”
“Sarah asked whether Ethan could stay with me indefinitely.”
My heart slammed.
“When?”
“Three weeks ago.”
“Why?”
“She said you were talking about having another baby.”
I closed my eyes.
“We've never discussed another baby.”
“Oh.”
“And even if we had, what does that have to do with Ethan?”
“She said there wasn't enough room.”
“We have four bedrooms.”
Melissa was silent again.
Then she whispered, “Okay. Something is wrong.”
“Did she say anything else?”
“She asked if I knew whether temporary guardianship would affect child support.”
I stopped breathing for a second.
“Child support?”
“Yes.”
“From Ryan?”
“I assumed so.”
Ryan hadn't paid regular support in years.
At least, that's what Sarah had always told me.
She said sometimes he sent a few hundred dollars.
Sometimes nothing.
“Why would she care about that?”
“I don't know.”
A car door slammed outside.
I looked through the window.
Sarah was loading a suitcase into the trunk of her SUV.
My chest tightened.
“Melissa, I have to go.”
“Jason?”
“Yeah?”
“I am not taking Ethan tomorrow.”
Relief hit me.
“Thank you.”
“Not until I understand what's happening.”
I hung up and stepped outside.
Sarah froze when she saw me.
“What are you doing?”
She pushed the suitcase farther into the trunk.
“Nothing.”
“Whose suitcase is that?”
“Mine.”
That answer surprised me.
“Where are you going?”
“To my mom's.”
“With the kids?”
“With Lily.”
I stared at her.
“And Ethan?”
“He can stay with you today.”
She said it casually.
Like she hadn't spent all night reminding me I wasn't his father.
“Interesting.”
“What?”
“Yesterday I had no rights. Today you're comfortable leaving him with me.”
“Don't start.”
I walked closer.
“Melissa isn't taking him.”
Sarah's face drained.
“You called her.”
“Yes.”
“I told you not to.”
“She thought Ethan wanted to move.”
Sarah shut the trunk hard.
“You had no right to interfere.”
“I live here.”
“This has nothing to do with you.”
“An eight-year-old who calls my house home has everything to do with me.”
She pulled out her phone.
“Get out of my way.”
“I'm not in your way.”
“Good.”
She moved toward the driver's door.
Then Ethan ran out of the house.
Barefoot.
“Mom!”
Sarah turned.
His breathing was fast.
“Why are you taking your suitcase?”
“Go inside.”
“Are you leaving?”
“Ethan, go inside.”
“Are you taking Lily?”
Sarah closed her eyes.
“Please stop.”
He began crying.
“You said I was the one leaving.”
My heart broke.
Sarah looked at him.
Then at me.
And something snapped.
“This is exactly what I mean!”
She pointed at Ethan.
“Everything becomes a scene. Every single thing!”
Ethan recoiled like she'd slapped him.
I stepped between them.
“Enough.”
“No, Jason. You want the truth? Fine.”
“Sarah.”
“I have spent eight years cleaning up after everybody else's choices!”
Ethan stared at her.
She kept going.
“Ryan walked away. You walked in and decided you could save everything. And I'm the one who has to live in the middle of it.”
“He's your son.”
“I know!”
“Then stop talking like he's a burden someone left on your porch.”
Sarah covered her face.
For one second, I thought she might collapse.
Then a small voice came from the front door.
“Mommy?”
Lily stood there holding her stuffed unicorn.
Sarah immediately straightened.
Her entire expression changed.
“Baby, go get your shoes.”
I stared at her.
“You're really taking her?”
“I need space.”
“So does Ethan.”
She looked at him.
Then away.
“I can't do this right now.”
She put Lily in the car.
Ethan stood beside me, crying silently.
Sarah got behind the wheel.
Before she shut the door, I said, “What aren't you telling me?”
She didn't answer.
But as she drove away, I noticed something on the driveway.
A white envelope had fallen from her purse.
I picked it up.
It had already been opened.
There was no return address.
Inside was a letter.
Three sentences into it, I finally understood why Ryan's name had suddenly returned to our lives.
He wasn't gone anymore.
May you like
He was coming back.
And according to the letter, Sarah had known for months.
