Chapter 4
Jason arrived at Maya’s apartment at eight the next morning.
I almost didn’t let him in.
Then Lily heard his voice through the door.
“Daddy?”
She ran past me.
I barely got the lock open before she threw herself at him.
Jason dropped to his knees.
He wrapped both arms around her and started crying.
Not quietly.
Not politely.
He cried like something inside him had finally broken.
“I’m sorry, baby.”
Lily clung to him.
“Grandma lied.”
“Yes.”
“I’m really yours?”
Jason pulled back and held her face.
“You are my daughter.”
“For real?”
“For real.”
“Even before the paper?”
He shut his eyes.
I knew what she meant.
Was she his daughter only because biology had been proven?
He seemed to understand too.
“You were my daughter before I saw that paper.”
“But you thought somebody else was my dad.”
Jason’s face twisted with pain.
“Yes.”
“Did you still love me?”
“Yes.”
She stared at him.
Then she asked the question that I knew would stay with him forever.
“Why didn’t you protect me?”
Jason lowered his head.
“I should have.”
Lily began crying.
He pulled her close again.
“I should have protected you.”
His voice cracked.
“I should have protected your mom too.”
I looked away.
Maya took Lily into the living room after a few minutes so Jason and I could talk.
We stood in the kitchen.
Neither of us sat.
Jason looked terrible.
Same clothes as yesterday.
Red eyes.
Unshaven face.
Normally I would have cared.
I didn’t.
“Tell me everything.”
He nodded.
“When you were pregnant, Mom started saying you were too close with a guy at your office.”
“Ben?”
“I think that was his name.”
“Ben was sixty-two and married.”
“I know that now.”
I stared at him.
“You could have known it then.”
“I know.”
“She showed you messages?”
Jason looked ashamed.
“Screenshots.”
“What did they say?”
“That you missed him. That you wished things were different.”
I shook my head.
“Those weren’t mine.”
“I know.”
“You keep saying that now.”
He flinched.
Good.
I wanted the words to hurt.
“Why didn’t you confront me?”
“Because every time I wanted to, Mom told me stress could hurt the baby.”
I laughed in disbelief.
“So she convinced you I was cheating, then convinced you not to ask me because she was worried about my pregnancy?”
“Yes.”
“And that made sense to you?”
“At the time.”
I stared at the man I had shared my life with for almost ten years.
For the first time, I wondered how much of our marriage had actually belonged to us.
“And the DNA test?”
“The night Lily was born, Mom came to the hospital.”
“I remember.”
“You were sleeping.”
“I remember that too.”
“She told me it was my last chance to know.”
My stomach turned.
“What did you do?”
“She had a testing kit.”
I stared at him.
“You swabbed our newborn baby while I was sleeping?”
His eyes filled.
“Yes.”
I had to grip the counter.
“Then what?”
“Mom said her friend worked with the lab and could rush it.”
“Marlene.”
“I guess.”
“You never met her?”
“No.”
“The results?”
“Mom brought them to me two days later.”
“And they said zero percent.”
“Yes.”
“What did you do?”
“I drove around for hours.”
He looked at the floor.
“I wanted to leave.”
That hurt more than I expected.
“You almost abandoned us.”
“Yes.”
“Because of a piece of paper your mother handed you.”
“I believed it was from the lab.”
“But you stayed.”
Jason nodded.
“I looked at Lily and realized I didn’t care.”
I said nothing.
He continued.
“I told myself you had betrayed me, but Lily hadn’t. I promised I would raise her anyway.”
I folded my arms tightly.
“That sounds noble when you tell it that way.”
“I know it doesn’t feel noble.”
“It wasn’t.”
He swallowed.
“I know.”
“You punished me without telling me what crime you thought I committed.”
He looked at me.
“I did.”
Suddenly, memories started rearranging themselves.
The months after Lily was born.
Jason becoming quieter.
The nights he slept on the edge of the bed.
The sudden tension between him and Ben at my company Christmas party.
The way Diane would smile when Jason and I disagreed.
I had thought we were exhausted new parents.
Now I realized I had spent years paying for an affair that never happened.
“How long did you believe it?”
“Until yesterday.”
I froze.
“You mean you believed Lily wasn’t yours for all seven years?”
“Yes.”
I wanted to slap him.
Instead, I whispered, “And you let your mother near her.”
His eyes closed.
“I didn’t know Mom was saying things to Lily.”
“You knew Diane hated the idea that you were raising another man’s child.”
“Yes.”
“You knew she made comments.”
“Not to Lily.”
“You heard her call me manipulative.”
“Yes.”
“You heard her say Lily didn’t look like you.”
“Yes.”
“You heard her ask whether you ever wondered what her real father looked like.”
Jason began crying again.
“Yes.”
“And you still took Lily to her house.”
He had no defense.
I shook my head.
“That isn’t a mistake, Jason.”
“I know.”
“That is seven years of choices.”
He wiped his face.
“I know.”
I hated that he wasn’t arguing.
Part of me wanted him to fight back so I could hate him cleanly.
Instead, he just stood there and accepted every word.
My phone rang.
Emily.
I answered.
“Hey.”
“Sarah, Dad and I are at the house.”
Her voice was tense.
“We found something.”
“What?”
“Grandpa Thomas’s trust documents.”
I remembered Jason’s grandfather.
Thomas Coleman had died two years before Lily was born.
He had built the family construction business from nothing.
“What about them?”
Emily took a breath.
“There’s a clause about Jason’s first biological child.”
Jason looked at me.
I put the call on speaker.
Emily continued.
“Grandpa left twenty percent of the company in trust to Jason’s first biological child.”
My mouth went dry.
“And if Jason had no biological children?”
“The shares stayed under Mom’s control until the next qualifying heir was born.”
Jason whispered, “No.”
Emily’s voice shook.
May you like
“Sarah, Mom wasn’t trying to prove Lily didn’t belong.”
“She was trying to make sure she didn’t.”
